LIVES OF THE SAINTS

BY CONWELL SAVAGE

APRIL - 1977

April 25, 1977

Dear Mary,

Here is the garrulous reminiscence you requested in your postal of 2/26/77. It is entitled "Lives of the Saints." I hope it is what you wanted. Regards to Bob. I am sure he will explain to you the meaning of any of the lighter parts you don’t understand.

Yours for fine ancestors and even finer relatives,

Conwell.

P.S.1 - Any errors can be blamed on my imagination overcoming my memory.

C.S.

P.S.2 - Being afraid of libel I omitted some facts on page 11. Mr. Frank Howell, Mrs. Frank Howell’s (?) sugar daddy, was the president of a large Philadelphia Bank. I do hope that his colorful speech and lifestyle was not typical of his calling.

C.S.

P.S.3 - Of course, means postscript #3, and not Public School #3. In New York they do not teach the pupils to read very well so they give their schools numbers, and not names, so the pupils will know what their school is called. Elsewhere Presbyterians and Bankers find it convenient to do the same.

C.S.

P.S.4 - So others can tell you what I say wrong, copies of this letter are being sent to others. I hope you don’t mind sharing it.

C.S.

c.c. Mr. Henry S. Gegler

Mr. Wm. C. G. Savage

Mr. Geo. M. Sensenig

The Simplers (Simplaires)

The Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown, Delaware, burnt down years ago destroying many documents of the Simpler Family. However, since some insist their name should have the French spelling, they probably were Huguenots fleeing to safety when they were outlawed by Louis XIV revoking the Edict of Nantes in 1685. They must have reached here before 1700. They settled on the shore of the Delaware Bay, above Cape Henlopen, where the Broadhill Creek enters the Bay. Their large farm stayed in the family for about 250 years. -- until my cousin Andrew Simpler sold it. The house must have been remodeled many times as it lost its colonial appearance.

My mother spent her childhood vacations there, as did some of her cousins -- Amanda Simpler who married Leon Black, owner of the Milton General Store -- Mary Simpler who married Oliver Hazard, Captain of the DuPont’s ocean-going steam yacht -- Nellie Robbins who married Edward Douglass, owner of the Denton, Maryland, Drug Store, who deserted medicine for a successful career selling Insurance and houses in Washington, DC, when Cousin Nellie was cured of malaria by Christian Science. At that time the farm was owned by my Great Grandfather Andrew Simpler. My Grandfather John Conwell Simpler was born there.

Conwell Savage - April 20, 1977

The Conwells

Yeates and Rebekah Conwell came to America in 1699 -- probably from Wales. They settled in Sussex County, Delaware. Their Great Great Granddaughter, Lydice Conwell, born in 1809, was my Great Grandmother. She married my Great Grandfather Andrew Simpler. One of their sons, John Conwell Simpler, was my Grandfather. A cousin of ours, Russell Conwell was a Baptist Minister in Philadelphia, an author, a lecturer, a reformer and the founder of Temple University.

If you happen to be a mathematician you already have figured that Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather and Great Great Great Great Great Grandmother came to America two hundred and seven years after Columbus did and two hundred and eight years before I did. They were closer to that great navigator than to me -- their own great great great great great grandson. If you happen to be my sister or my brother or my first cousin on my mother’s side of the family you can claim the same relationship to old Yeates and Rebekah that I do. I hope this gives you great happiness.

Conwell Savage - April 20, 1977

The John Conwell Simplers

My Grandfather was raised on the family farm in Delaware. As a boy he used to sail across the Delaware Bay, around Cap May, up the inland waterway to Pecks Beach where he camped. Later the Methodists bought Pecks Beach and called it Ocean City -- but it still is Pecks Beach on the nautical charts. He became a shipbuilder.

My Grandfather married my Grandmother Elizabeth Johnson. I know very little of the Johnsons but my Aunt Bessie once told me that John Caldwell Calhoun, the South Carolina statesman, was her uncle. They moved to Camden, NJ, where he built wooden sailing ships at the Cooper River Shipyard.

My Grandfather’s hero was Abraham Lincoln. He heard him talk. He voted for him for President. Grandfather was a good Republican and, with good reason, disagreed with all Democrats. He told me many tales of cruelty to slaves, sailors and prisoners. The whipping part was still in use when he was a boy. In his day he was a reformer and an activist. When the Civil War started he already had a family and was working at an essential trade. When he was drafted he paid a Mr. Smith of Camden to take his place in the army. I am glad to write that Mr. Smith returned safely from the war.

Grandfather was very religious. He read his Bible every afternoon. As a young man he enjoyed drinking. However, his wife and six daughters stopped that except on the rare occasions when he could slip off to the corner bar. He was a great walker. He enjoyed a five-mile walk before breakfast -- such as from Brighton Place, Ocean City, across the bridge to Somers Point and back. Ocean City, of course, was dry. Somers Point was wet. I don’t know what time the saloons opened then. I hope early. He earned a drink.

My Grandparents had twelve children. John Conwell Simpler Jr. died while an infant. William did when twenty-one years old. One son, probably Milby, died of yellow fever in New Orleans. Another son, probably Andrew, went to Kansas. He was the father of my first cousin Lillabea. Samuel married Sophia. Ira married Florence. Neither Lillie nor Blanche married. Sarah married Frederick Davis. Elizabeth (Bessie) married George Danzenbaker. Marge married William Clarkson Gegler. My mother, Mary Lydia, married my father, George Espie Savage.

My Grandfather and Grandmother were very proper. Once, at a funeral, an old friend of my Grandfather’s sat next to them. He was a sea captain and very deaf. In a very loud voice he said "Seen Joe"? While my Grandmother tried to quiet him he continue, "Looks like Hell"!

My Grandmother died of pneumonia while in her seventies. I was a small boy. I still can remember the awful sound of her breathing as the crisis came, and it got louder and louder, and filled the house, and then stopped suddenly -- and I was told she was dead. Later Grandfather also died of pneumonia -- aged eighty-two.

Conwell Savage - April 20, 1977

On Aging

George Bernard Shaw once said, very wisely, "Youth is much too good to waste on children." The same can be said for old age. No child ever can have old age. It would be wasted on him. He has not lived long enough to have the varied experiences that are essential to old age. Old age is the time when one remembers and is happy.

Yogurt is advertised as a means to live to a ripe old age. Can you imagine eating that horrible stuff for one hundred and fifteen years? Don’t try! There are more pleasant ways to become a centurion, or at least an octogenarian. Try one of these.

Uncle George Danzenbaker’s mother, Grandmother Baker, lived to be ninety-nine years old. She lived by herself in Cedarville, NJ, eleven months of the year. Since her house was heated only by a wood-burning, pot-bellied stove she spent February with her son in Philadelphia. She seemed to eat nothing but oyster stew. She didn’t worry about cholesterol. And Aunt Marge’s cat, Chev, lived to be twenty-two years old -- very old for a cat. He ate nothing by grasshoppers in the summer while he was at Pitman Grove, NJ

I recommend a diet of either oyster stew or of grasshoppers as preferable to a diet of yogurt as a means of achieving old age.

Conwell Savage - April 20, 1977

Frederick and Sarah Davis and Family

Uncle Fred was born in southern Delaware. As a young man he taught school there. One of his pupils was the cartoonist George McMannus, originator of "Bringing Up Fathers (Jigs and Maggie)", whom Uncle Fred whipped many times for being funny. I suppose it takes more than a switch to remove a smile from a person -- I hope so. Later he and his family moved to Cheyenne, Wyoming, where he was Superintendent of Education for the State. Wyoming then was made up mainly of Indians and Cowboys. After World War I they returned East to Philadelphia and to Pitman and to various ways to earn a living. Uncle Fred was the first Botanist I knew. A walk thru the woods with him was an event. He knew all the plants you saw and he ate parts of at least half the plants you saw.

Aunt Sarah was sweet and understanding and a good Episcopalian. She made the best waffles and crullers I have ever eaten -- and on a coal stove. Being such a fine person, she loved cats. Once of her cats, a white tail less Manx, used the john like a person -- for both #1 and #1. This code dates from the time when a pupil, raising his hand to leave the room, raised one or two fingers also so his teacher would know his need in detail. She had three children -- Edgar, Elizabeth, Carey.

Edgar was my hero. His first bid to fame was during a home recording session on an old Edison phonograph at my Grandparents. Thru the lovely sounds of any relatives singing some beautiful song came his childish voice saying, "I don’t want to sing." Later he caused a slight stir in Camden when he and his Uncle Ira (also my Uncle Ira -- and only a little older than Edgar) came home one night to my Grandparents house. The Sewing Circle was meeting there -- and Cousin Edgar and Uncle Ira had drunk too much! Before World War I Edgar joined the Navy. He served on the U.S.N. Destroyer "Bainbridge" thru the war as a "First Class Torpedo Mate." Once in the Pacific Ocean they stopped the ship so everyone could have a swim. The first man jumped into the water. A very large shark came up and bit a great chunk of belly out of the man. The man died instantly. No one else went swimming. Edgar was frightened -- they didn’t do things like that in Wyoming! In China he saw some men executed. They were made to kneel on the sidewalk. Then a man came along with a large sword and chopped off their heads. Edgar thought it was gruesome! In Spain he saw a bullfight. In those days the horses in the ring had no protection. Several horses were killed for each bull killed. The Spanish loved all the blood. Edgar loved horses. Edgar was sick to his stomach! After the war Edgar came to Philadelphia, married, and settled down with Catherine and two man-eating Chow dogs. The dogs would also eat woman if afforded an opportunity. Edgar retired to Florida, couldn’t stand it, returned to Philadelphia and died. He lived over eighty years -- most of them uneventful.

Elizabeth was a housewife by nature. She was the only girl I ever saw who played with dolls as if she enjoyed doing it -- and not as a duty girls must endure. She married Harold Parent of Pitman. They settled in Pitman and raised a fine family. Elizabeth renounced the vanities of the Episcopal Church for the true light of the Baptist Church. Later, when one of her daughters married, Elizabeth was upset less by the husband being a Catholic than by the couple becoming Episcopalians. Poor Elizabeth died too soon.

Carey was the baby -- not much older than me. He was the first person I knew who smoked "Lucky Strikes". He moved to Buffalo, NY, married, and so we have lost touch with each other.

Conwell Savage - April 21, 1977

George and Elizabeth Danzenbaker -- and John

Uncle George was born and raised in Southern New Jersey -- along the Delaware River. In Colonial times the Pine Barrens was the center of the shipbuilding, iron making, glass making and paper making in the Colonies because trees, bog iron ore, sand and shells (for lime) were so abundant. Many Germans settled there -- giving Uncle George his German name. Later these industries moved west to the Pittsburgh area when coal, iron ore, limestone and sand were discovered there. Uncle George spent his summers in Ocean City with an uncle who owned "Scotch Hall" on Fifth Street, opposite the Association Grounds, at Central Avenue. The house at that time had a high tower and spire. One could climb to the top of the spire and get a good view of America’s Greatest Family Resort. Scotch Hall was good Victorian Carpentry.

Uncle George worked for Blasius Piano Company in Woodbury, NJ, where they had a large factory, and in Philadelphia where they had their main sales office. They made a good line of pianos and reed organs. He started in as a piano tuner and worked up to the top. When Mr. Blasius died the business was left to James, of New York City, and to Oscar, of Florida -- his two sons. Since the two sons would not speak to each other, nor visit Woodbury or Philadelphia, Uncle George ran the business until pianos went out of fashion during the great depression and Blasius, like most other piano makers, went out of business.

Uncle George loved ice-skating. As a boy he skated up the Delaware River to Trenton. As an adult he was ashamed of his love. Just the same, on a cold night, after everyone had gone to bed, he would walk over to Centennial Lake in Fairmount Park and skate all by himself by moonlight. He taught me that Negroes are as human as we are, and as nice, and live as well, and often are better cooks. It is a shame more people did not know him.

Aunt Bessie always lived with her parents, even after she married, just as her son John lived with her, even after he married. It seemed a good arrangement -- nice people who got along together. I doubt that I could have spent one week with my Mother-in-law -- assuming that she would have let me. Aunt Bessie was very religious -- a Methodist in Camden -- a Presbyterian in Philadelphia -- and a Sunday School Superintendent in both cities. She made the world’s finest vanilla jumbles and molasses jumbles and coconut cake. They made a wonderful finish to a meal that started with oysters on the half shell, in the cellar, shucked by Uncle George. Uncle George’s sister was married to a Bridgeton doctor who sent him sacks of oysters thru the cold part of the year.

They had one son, John Earl Danzenbaker. He was the best fisherman I ever saw. As a boy he made all his spending money fishing in the surf at Ocean City. It was a rare day when he didn’t catch over one hundred fish, mostly weakfish and kingfish, and sell them to Hickman’s Market. John married a very sweet, pretty auburn hair girl, Ethyle Du Bree. They had a long, happy marriage together and many fine children and grandchildren. Their older son, Jack, was a tireless bird watcher as a boy. He has kept this interest all his life. Now he is nearing sixty but he still travels to places such as Africa and South America to study the birds. When at home he watches the birds following the Atlantic Flyway as they go thru Ocean, Atlantic and Cape May Counties on their way to Cape May Point and points south. John and Ethyl’s daughter, Betty Jane, used to equal another cousin of mine, Ginny Simpler, in being my merriest relative -- a noteworthy achievement. The younger son is William.

Addendum (keep out of the hands of children). Aunt Bessie was the best cinnamon bun baker in the world, but Annie ran her a close second. Annie was our cook at Ocean City for a couple of years when I was young. Then she went down the street to cook for Mr. Howell and his mistress, Maud Dear, who I called Mrs. Howell because I never had been told people could live together without being married. Often when I walked past the Howell house Annie would call me and I would climb the back steps and be handed some cinnamon buns. Mr. Howell also liked fish for breakfast. If I caught any extra, I could always sell them to Mrs. Howell (?) for twenty-five cents a string of six on eight flounders, kingfish or weakfish. Easy money! By now I should be a millionaire. Mr. Howell was the Marvel’s "Uncle Frank".

Conwell Savage - April 22, 1977

The Spinster Simplers

Aunt Lill was the older. She trained in Nursing at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. She used this training to help me into the world. She cured Bill Gegler of his warts by "Pow-wow". As she swore Bill to secrecy he would not tell me how she did it -- probably some form of Hex -- but it shows she knew when Science was indicated and when something higher was indicated. I was intended to be named John Conwell Savage after Grandfather Simpler, but the John was dropped because it was such a common name in our family. Just the same, Aunt Lill always addressed all notes to me as John Conwell Savage. She was a pioneer "Woman’s Lib". A Pennsylvania Railroad President, Mr. Fulmer, left his estate to two nieces, Miss Sue Fulmer and Miss Margaret Fulmer. Soon afterwards one of them was taken sick and Aunt Lill nursed her to health. Aunt Lill did not return to nursing. She stayed on with them as a friend, traveling, eating and getting fatter and fatter. Once she and Miss Sue had lunch at my sister Mary’s. Mary, a doctor’s wife, gave them food suitable for the aged. As Aunt Lill ate dessert, fruit cup, she described the wonderful desert my wife, Elizabeth, gave her a short time before -- chocolate soufflé -- and how many helpings of whipped cream she had on it.

Aunt Blanche was the younger -- a kindergarten teacher for a short time. She lived with various members of the family but seemed happiest when she was with outsiders. Once Elizabeth and I ran into her in Paris. No, she couldn’t have dinner with us. She had just returned by car form England on Sunday. She had to replace the gasoline that had been drained from her car, didn’t have enough cash, and didn’t want to loose money by cashing a large American Express check at a low rate of exchange. So she asked a nice looking man on the ship to lend her some money to buy gasoline. He did. So she could not have dinner with us that evening because she had to return the money to him. Who was he? She pulled out his card -- Baron Rothchild -- the richest man in France.

Miss Margaret went senile first and played with a toy spaniel dog. Miss Sue went senile next. Once, when Blanche, Mary Ann (Blanche’s daughter aged three or four) and I stopped to see her in Ocean City, at the Stovers house on Brighton Place which she was renting, we were startled by Miss Sue asking "When Blanche was going to be married?" Some years before Miss Sue had attended Blanche’s wedding. Aunt Lill went senile next. She would shout abuse at people passing by the house. Aunt Blanche went senile last. Visiting her at the Norristown Hospital, one thought her conversation normal until realizing that she thought she was waiting in the lobby of Mother’s apartment house for Mother to return and take her up to the apartment.

Senility is pitiful. Why did it touch these four women? Why did it not touch any married members of the family?

Conwell Savage - April 22, 1977

The William Clarkson Geglers and family

Uncle Will’s father made money at the Philadelphia Mint. Uncle Will made money at his Insurance Brokerage near Independence Hall. He was a Shriner. He and Aunt Marge loved to go on trips with the Shriners and to dance. They had four children.

Marganna was one of those lucky people born in 1900. Anyone who knew what year it was knew how old she was. She would not let her brothers or sister say anything ungrammatical without correcting them. They all grew up to speak well. My speech would be better if she had had more time to correct me. She married Albert Bailey after he got out of the Signal Corps at the end of the First World War. He was kind, he loved plants, and he helped me build by first radio. They had two sons -- William and Henry.

Henry was a little older than I was, so I could look up to him as an equal. He was a fine tennis player -- thanks to his summers at Pitman. Of all my relatives he is the best mannered, the best conversationalist and the most interesting. He and Libby have fine children -- which is to be expected.

William Clarkson Gegler Jr. was eleven months younger than I was, lived around the corner, and was close to me. Naturally he was a good tennis player. He married Eleaet from Providence, RI. Her New England thrift would show when she would peel mushrooms because they were frown in horse manure and then make soup from the peelings. I suppose she was a relative of the New England woman who died leaving a box in her attic market "String in lengths too short to use." Bill was a Purser on a tanker during World War II -- a dangerous occupation. Afterwards he and Eleaet broke up and Bill married a French Countess much older than he was. I thought she was more suited to be his mother than to be his wife -- but, of course, I knew nothing of woman -- they still are a complete mystery to me. Poor Bill died shortly after that. He never received his share from life.

Elizabeth, the baby, married Henry Shute of South Jersey and Princeton University. After a lucrative career as Manufacturer’s Representatives they retired to a life of golf and ease in North Carolina’s mountains.

Pitman Grove - N.J.

Started in 1871 as a Methodist Camp Meeting it grew until it had a Tabernacle as a hub from which radiated streets lined with wooden Victorian Houses. Beyond this the houses were arranged in rows. The Gegler’s was one of these, with an open-air auditorium in front and tennis courts in back. One could sit on their front porch and watch an open-air movie or religious service or one could sit on their back porch and watch a tennis match, or one could sit on their side porches and watch the neighbors or one could just sit and eat ice cream. If one had excess energy it was possible to play tennis, or pitch horseshoes, or walk through the lovely Pine Barrens woods, or swim in Alcyon Lake.

Pitman Grove had good railroad service to Camden on the electric line. For a long time trains were not allowed to stop at Pitman on Sunday. Visitors had to continue on to Glassboro or Sewell and then return in an open wagon -- Military Christianity in action. The same Electric Railroad Company had a line running from Camden to Pleasantville where it connected with their line which ran from Virginia Avenue and Boardwalk in Atlantic City to Eighth Street and Boardwalk in Ocean City. This was a good way to go from Ocean City to Longport, while being entertained by a black banjoist, and then taking the open-air trolley car through Margate, Ventnor, Chelsea to Atlantic City. Progress has replaced these by a bus line -- fast, uncomfortable.

One summer a cyclone hit Pitman Grove. The Gegler outhouse did yeoman service for a while as it was one of the few that was not blown away. Once, while returning to Philadelphia at the end of the summer, Aunt Marge’s cat escaped from its box on the express wagon. This happened on the ferry between Camden and Philadelphia. Some time later a neighbor telephoned Aunt Marge that the cat was on the porch, thin, tired and with sore feet. A long walk over ground it had never seen. Some cat!

The houses were frame. They had comfortable porches with turned posts supporting the roofs and jigsaw work wherever there was space for it. Inside the houses were finished with tongue and groove boards. The partitions did not go to the ceiling, or roof. They were just high enough to not be looked over. This gave a fine, airy house where conversations were whispered and secrets were impossible. Aunt Marge knew some beautiful riddles which she did not ask inside the Pitman house when children were around -- such as: Q - What is the difference between a rich man and a poor man? A - A Rich man has a canopy over hid bed. A poor man has a can o’ pee under his bed. Q - What does a man do standing up, a woman sitting down and a dog on three legs? A - Shake hands.

Conwell Savage - April 23, 1977

George Espie and Mary Lydia Savage - and offspring

Father was born in Ayr, Scotland. He said his father’s family were originally French, probably Huguenots, who migrated to England, then Ulster, then Scotland. His mother was a Tompson -- pure Scottish. When a boy, his parents brought him and his sister Mary to Philadelphia. They planned to settle in Florida. However some of his brothers, who were already here, convinced them to stay in Philadelphia as Florida still was mostly undeveloped jungle.

These brothers were: John, in charge of woodworking and modelmaking at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. Samuel of the Philadelphia Navy Yard who had such a Scots Burr I rarely understood a thing he said until I was grown. Edward, superintendent of the McCann Sugar Works (Sissy McCann’s father’s company), and his English wife, Mary. William, construction superintendent of the McCann Sugar Company, and his wife Tilly, English, who had the most beautiful garden in West Philadelphia &emdash; all roses. Edward and William were their sons. Benjamin, guard at the Midvale Steel works, whose wife died when Miriam was born. David and Jeanny, parents of Wallace, Robert and George Espie. Mary was the sister, wife of George Espie.

Grandfather had a shipyard on the Delaware River where he built sailboats. He drank too much so Father never drank. His brothers smoke too much so Father never smoked. One would think that because his parents had twelve children, some of whom died young, he would have renounced sex. But he didn’t. My sister-in-laws sometimes make unkind and ribald comments about Father always wearing a nightgown to bed. I pay no attention to them. They think all the Savages are oversexed. And Father had only six children.

Father studied at the Drexel Institute of Technology and was the architect for about three hundred churches throughout New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia and Ohio. Mother graduated from normal school, taught grammar school one year, married but continued to be a fine mathematician. Here are her children:

Blanche, who probably holds the record for cutting classes at the West Philadelphia High School for Girls, married Christian M. Sensenig, a three letter man (baseball, basketball, soccer) at both the West Philadelphia High School for Boys and at the University of Pennsylvania. They had two children &emdash; George and Mary Ann. Chris had a stained glass studio. He died early. Blanche was married again to William Henry Harrison &emdash; not the president but a fine bridge player and a retired IRS employee.

Conwell does not merit one line.

George, the architect, an ex See Bee, first married Margaret Murtha, who died young, and then Elizabeth Jones who had two children by a previous marriage. They adopted Steven. They must be very wealthy as they live on the Main Line.

David, the financier and mortgage genius, followed the family tradition and married another Betty, the third, Elizabeth Colville. Their son David was the only Savage to learn to read soon after he learned to walk, and long before he entered kindergarten. He also was the only Savage to be offered a scholarship by Harvard, by Yale and by Princeton. Their daughter Janet is not quite that bright &emdash; but she is pretty good.

Mary, the family’s paragon of beauty, virtue and knowledge, was paid by the U.S. Government to do magic squares while attending the University of Pennsylvania. She married Dr. Robert Ragsdale Smith. They have two children. Nancy, the financial genuis was a director of the Shroder Bank and later a vice president of the Prudential Bank before she was thirty years old. Robert Jr. took life a little more casually.

William Clarkson Gegler Savage, the veterinarian, migrated to Titusville, PA, where he married Nellie Loomis. While practicing in the mountains, where winter was almost all year and snow was all year, they produced four, fine children &emdash; John Conwell, William, Christine, George.

Anonymous &emdash; April 23, 1977

Samuel and Sophia Simplaire &emdash; and John.

As a small boy Grandfather took me to visit them in Chester one fine, sunny day. I still can remember the fine lunch Aunt Soph served us on a beautiful red tablecloth on their kitchen table, and looking out their windows to see the sailing ships going up the Delaware River, and having Grandfather explain them to me. John Ira, who was a bit younger than I was, even had uncles who were coal miners. It was wonderful. We only had white damask tablecloths and trolley cars and uncles who had offices downtown. Uncle Sam never said a thing he didn’t mean or do a thing he thought was wrong. I knew Grandmother’s favorite child was William, who died at 21, and Grandfather’s favorite child was Uncle Sam. Now I know why.

John Ira is a chip off the old block. He always wanted to be an undertaker but he never got his wish. That is a shame. I can think of nothing finer in life than to be buried by John Ira.

Conwell Savage &emdash; April 24, 1977

Ira and Florence Simpler &emdash; and Girls

Uncle Ira and Aunt Florence were both Episcopalians and Christians. They treated everyone, from children on up, as if they were important &emdash; which is one reason I like them. Uncle Ira sold the second Willys Knight that was made. Aunt Florence’s niece, the actress Mildred Davis, was Mrs. Harold Lloyd. Once, when Elizabeth and I were watching "Pathe News" at the movies, we saw Mildred come out of the old Broad Street Station in Philadelphia, Aunt Florence, Jane and Ginny greet her, Uncle Ira drive up in his ramshackled, old car, the four climb into the car and the five drive off. No airs! I was proud of them. Mildred Davis used to send them clothes she didn’t need. As a result Jane, who was lovely, and had a high-fashion figure, was the best-dressed relative I had.

Aunt Florence had a stroke of which completely paralyzed her and used up their savings. Uncle Ira had to go back to work, an old man, and make parts for development models of helicopters, until he could no longer work, in his late seventies.

After Father died, Mother moved to an apartment where she would entertain Uncle Ira for dinner. As he drank his whiskey and water and Mother drank her orange juice you could see how happy she was with her baby brother &emdash; He almost eighty &emdash; she over eighty.

Conwell Savage &emdash; April 24, 1977

We

I have three claims to fame. First &emdash; I followed the family tradition and married someone better than myself, Elizabeth Bullit Hayward, a childhood friend who was born in Chicago, summered occasionally at Ocean City and wintered at Washington State, California, Philadelphia, Easton, Maryland, etc. Second &emdash; I probably am the only man in the world who is afraid of his shadow’s shadow’s shadow’s shadow. Third &emdash; I have worked harder than anyone else in the world.

Most people have a wonderful ability to get out of work. God did not give me that ability. Have you noticed that people claim credit for their good points, blame God for their bad points, and that atheists must blame everything on their genes or on their parents? From the age of eleven, during World War I, when I worked as an architectural draughsman, through stained glass painter, architectural designer, mechanical engineer, hydraulic engineer, electrical engineer, I have worked like a horse. Now, worn out, decrepit, useless, and in my dotage, I continue working &emdash; writing this "Lives of the Saints."

Here is my life: The Beach Haven Methodist Church. The Vineland Methodist Church. The Cape May Baptist Church. The Haddonfield Christian Science Church. The Neffsville United Brethren Church. The Oxford United Brethren Church. The Oneonta Presbyterian Church. The Reading R.C. Chapel and Nunnery. The Douglas Weiser High School in Reading. The Aristes High School Gymnasium (concrete block over the Centralia Coal Mine &emdash; in NY City it would not be used for a tool shed &emdash; but they like it). A Jewish Community Center in Pennsylvania. The Sherwood Theater. The Camden Warner Brother’s Theater. The Atlantic Home Elevator. The 20 mm. Antiaircraft gun that the English mounted on Lorries and credited with stopping the German Hedge hopping. The only Mechanized Flame Thrower used by us in World War II, which killed hundreds of Orientals who, as I was informed by Army Personnel, "Didn’t Mind Dying." A Combination Machine Gun and Flame Thrower, for both long range and short range murder, which caused Harlem Pratt (one of our older salesmen) to say to me "Conny &emdash; That is awful &emdash; It reminds me of Tizzy, the village slut, who said ‘Life is Hell. If you run they kick you in the ass. If you stand still you get screwed’". Automated all the U.S. six-inch and eight inch coast defense guns. The Helicopter Trainer that taught men to fly before they killed themselves trying. All Westinghouse Elevate Fixtures for thirty years. All Westinghouse Relays, Contactors, Controllers, Floor Selectors, Inductors, Slowdown Switches and Electronic Apparatus for thirty years. The Westinghouse Elevator Cabs, which a salesman ordered so a computer turned out all the pricing, weights, engineering, shop orders, stock control and numerical controlled punch press topes, which had millions of variations is size, style, finish, accessories, and which reduced the cost by over sixty percent. Eleven patents for Elevator Control Systems. Many formulae for the static and dynamic mechanics of elevator systems. About fifty fine, young, Westinghouse Engineers.

Conwell Savage &emdash; April 24, 1977

More Family &emdash; All VIP

Cousin Will Simpler’s life is a fine example everyone should follow. He was the family ne’er &emdash; do well. He joined the cavalry and fought in Cuba in the Spanish American War, where, he complained, after every battle the cavalry even Teddy Roosevelt would show up with his Rough Riders and brag to the newspaper reporters of his newest victory. After that war Cousin Will went to the Dakotas to shoot Indians. After the Indian population had been reduced to a satisfactory number he was discharged from the Army and given three cents a mile to return home to Delaware. He was not inclined to give all that money to the Railroad. He would walk home. When he reached Columbus, Ohio, he was tired of walking so he took a job as a pattern maker in a chain foundry. After work one day, returning home by trolley car, a man asked him if he knew of a boarding house. Cousin will did. So the man settled in the house Cousin Will boarded in. This man owned two patents. Since he spoke English poorly he asked Cousin Will to sell one of them. Cousin Will sold the patent for a "Concrete Block Machine." With that money they bought a factory and started the "Jaeger Concrete Mixer Company." President Jaeger handled the manufacturing in broken English. Vice President Simpler handled the sales in good American. Cousin Will’s life proves that anyone can attain wealth if he shoots a few Cubans and Indians and rides trolley cars.

Conwell Savage &emdash; April 25, 1977

Even More Family &emdash; All VIPs

Dogs are fun. They bark. They bite. They wag their tails. They soil sidewalks. They are dependable. Don’t we call them "Fido" &emdash; the Latin word for "faithful?" And they are much better than children, or even wives, at helping a person who suffers from low self-esteem. When they look at you with moist eyes you realize how a king feels when applauded by his subjects.

But if you suffer from a high self-esteem, and wish to reduce it to a Christian size, cats are better than children, or even wives, at accomplishing it. Cats are much brighter than you are. Cats always know everything you are planning to do. You never know anything cats are planning to do. Have you ever spent a couple of hours looking all over the house for a cat in hiding? Without finding him? With the other cats watching you, with smiles on their faces, knowing where he was hiding? And then have that cat appear from nowhere &emdash; walking across the living room floor? If you have had this happen to you, and kept your cool, you are assured of a place in Heaven &emdash; possibly on a superior Presbyterian cloud &emdash; certainly on a good Episcopal cloud.

But if you are not troubled by your self-esteem, and still are a nice person, you should love and keep turtles. They will help you judge your importance in relation to the other living creatures. They have been here longer than any land animal which still exists &emdash; almost one quarter of a billion years. They arrived when there was only one continent, and watched it separate into seven continents, and watched them drift apart. They watched the dinosaurs come and go. They watched man come. They probably will watch man go.

As a little boy I enjoyed going into the yard in Camden and having my Grandfather’s box turtle, Old Billy, walk up to me and eat a strawberry from my hand. Poor Billy met a sad end. When Grandmother died, and Grandfather sold the Camden house and moved to Philadelphia, the new owner killed Billy, who was hibernating, with a spade when transplanting a rhododendron bush. My older turtle, Bertram, a mud turtle, is about fifty years old. He was given to me by a niece who got him as a little girl and was getting married. Since then she has had two husbands and three children. Bertram is still doing well. George, my younger turtle, a red-footed tortoise, is only about twenty years old. He is in love with Felice, one of our Abyssinian Cats. With true turtle logic, he thinks her body is her shell and her tail is her head. So he follows her around the house, shaking his head at her tail, and clucking like a hen. But he weighs as much as she does, so she tires of his attentions, so she slaps him in the face. And he continues to follow her. Poor, ardent George, like most people, will not learn "Don’t stick your neck out and you won’t get hurt."

Conwell Savage &emdash; April 25, 1977

And Still More Family &emdash; Ludell &emdash; VIP

Mother had to divide her attention between Father and her children. Ludell devoted all her attention to the children. Ludell’s influence was considerable. This may explain why my younger brothers and sisters turned out so well &emdash; they were younger and more pliable, when she came, than the rest of us were. Ludell could not understand how Mother could smile all through my wedding &emdash; Ludell cried all through it.

Ludell’s husband was Hurly, a foreman for a road construction company. When he was transferred to southern New Jersey they moved to Atlantic City. Ludell could not read or write. But she was a businesswoman. She started a Box Lunch business, developed it into a Restaurant, and then sold that when it required too much work form her. The last time I saw her she reminded me of when I first knew her. She was running a Day Car Center in her home on Maryland Avenue. She was surrounded by small children &emdash; all smiling and all very well disciplined.

Ludell did last summer. I am sure that she and Hurly are living on the best and blackest cloud in all Heaven. I hope someday we can visit them there.

Conwell Savage &emdash; April 25, 1977